How about a summer camp wedding? Meet Kendra and Joel, who decided to host 100+ of their family and friends for an entire weekend at an awesome summer camp in New York. Camp Chipinaw was the site for their weekend long celebration, and what a great idea it was. I really wish I was a guest when I arrived and saw the gorgeous lake and guests paddle boarding! But even though I couldn’t play, it was certainly an honor to photograph their wedding. Kendra and Joel are the real deal. They are both amazing people and together they are an incredible couple. You’ll see in the photos how much they are loved, and how much they adore each other. This is more of the good stuff!
Here is their story:
How did you meet? Kendra: Joel and I met at a mutual friend’s birthday party– my dearest friend from work and his friend from college. I had seen him before at a couple other parties she’d had and I always thought he was really cute, but I knew he had a girlfriend. By the time we finally met, I figured I had nothing to lose since he was probably still in a relationship, but it turned out he wasn’t.
Joel: I was maybe two months off a breakup when I got an invite from a college friend to her birthday party. It was a good ways from my place but I hadn’t seen her in ages. Plus it was at a bar and I figured maybe I might meet somebody. The theme for the party was “No Limits” which I wasn’t totally sure what to do with, but I decided to dress up a little. After an hour or so on the train I arrived at the bar in my suit and tie, walked in the door, and immediately the prettiest girl in the bar walks right up to me, says we haven’t met yet and introduces herself. Another friend of ours got a couple pictures of us together that night, we have one of them framed in our apartment.
The proposal: Joel: I decided that I wanted to ask Kendra to marry me while standing in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge. I had drafted an email to her cousin, a goldsmith, asking him about making an engagement ring. I knew that once I sent that message, there was no turning back. I stood looking out over the water, reading and rereading that email for a long time. I think I took a screenshot of the prompt asking me if I was sure I wanted to send this message. After sending it, I walked back to the Manhattan side, listening to the song that would later be the first dance at our wedding (Weathered, by Jack Garratt).
That would have been September. Eitan, the cousin and goldsmith was in Israel. It was a few months before the rings were ready. Kendra and I had gotten several hundred dollars in free credit on Delta and wanted to use them to go somewhere new and warm in the winter. We’d booked tickets for Ghana for the next February. I started making plans to ask her on that trip.
Kendra: Joel and I were in Ghana on vacation, staying at an eco lodge by the beach near the end of our trip. We had a chill day and then Joel suggested we go out onto the beach at “the golden hour” to take photos, We were the only ones out on the beach, the sun was setting, the lighthouse at the end of the beach lit up– it was very romantic.
Joel started saying some really sweet things, which seemed normal, but then he started talking about our relationship in this way that made me think, Wait a minute…Then, just as I was starting to figure out what was happening, he got down on one knee and pulled out this ring and asked me if I would marry him. My head was exploding! I remember thinking, “Just say yes, that’s all you have to do right now,” so I said yes while also squealing and freaking out and kissing him a million times. While we had talked about the future in the abstract, and I envisioned us building a life together, I was taken completely by surprise by the proposal.
When we walked back to where we were staying, it turned out Joel had coordinated with the eco lodge staff and they’d set up a private candle-lit dinner for us right by the beach, with a bottle of champagne, yummy food, and even heart-shaped cakes that the owner’s wife had made. After we ate, some local folks had a bonfire that we got to watch, and then we went and walked on the beach again. The stars were bright for the first time on the whole trip, and then we looked down and realized there were stars glowing under our feet as well: bioluminescent plankton in the wet sand was lighting up every time we took a step. It was probably the most magical night of my entire life…until our wedding.
Joel: The whole surprise was almost blown at least twice but I managed to narrowly play it off both times. And after I proposed one of the first things Kendra said after finally getting around to actually saying “yes” was “are you sure?” Fast forward a bit, the inside inscription of her wedding ring says what I told her: “Yes, I’m sure.”
How/why did you choose your venue? Kendra: We’d heard from friends who’d had weddings that they always go by really fast, so we wanted to do a full weekend event. Both of us have family and friends who are spread out across the country (and a few internationally), so we knew that wherever we had it, we wanted people to be able to stay on-site and spend the whole weekend, so we’d actually get some time with them. That might seem like it would narrow it down, but it took us a very long time to find the right place! When we finally figured out that a summer camp would make the most sense, we spent many weekends borrowing our friend’s car (thank you, Brian!) and driving upstate to visit different camps and similar venues. We didn’t find Camp Chipinaw until last October.
Joel: By the time we had planned to go to Chipinaw, we’d seen so many places that Kendra wasn’t totally sure she even wanted to go visit it. It didn’t seem like it was worth the trip to drive out yet again and this time just to look at one venue (we usually fit in two or three per trip). We were both tired of spending our weekends doing this. But we went. I won’t pretend we saw it an immediately declared it perfect, but we were definitely impressed by the facilities and the obvious care and work that went into them. And the more we learned, the more impressed we became. Within a few weeks, the choice was (relatively) easy.
What were some of your favorite moments from your wedding day?Kendra: ALL OF IT!
Joel: What my wife said 🙂
Kendra: Really, there was something to love about every moment. But a few highlights for me were getting ready (surprisingly– I was not expecting to enjoy that!) with my mom, several of my closest friends, and my now sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and nieces, because it was such a wonderful, probably once-in-a-lifetime treat to get all these people in a room together; having Danette take photos of me and Joel together (also way more fun than I expected! turns out I enjoy making out with Joel on command); dancing the hora (wheee!); but most of all, standing under the chuppah in front of the people I love and telling Joel that I promise to spend the rest of my life loving him. Words fail me when it comes to describing what that felt like.
Joel: Not technically part of the wedding day but having all our guests arrive the night before and getting to see them all together felt awesome. I’ve been to plenty of weddings where the bride and groom get up and say how wonderful it is to have all these people they love in one place and I’ve always kinda shrugged and thought “ÿeah, sure that’s a nice thing to say,” but when it’s your people, it actually is wonderful. We’d also been playing this game where guests submitted sentences about themselves that they thought might be unique to them (eg. “I am bipolar by virtue of traveling to the south pole and the north pole.,” “I’ve studied martial arts for 40 years,” “Just like Weird Al, I lost on Jeopardy!”) and we gave the sentences, without names, to other guests who then had to find the person it was true for. We had a big bonfire with s’mores after dinner that night, which was already fun, but it was especially great seeing all these people from all these different parts of our lives approach each other and shyly ask if they or someone they know was fluent in Korean, drove a car that was their age, or ran 10 miles, crash landed a plane, and then ran another 27 miles all in the same day. The connections and conversations were a real treat to watch.
As for the wedding day itself, seeing Kendra walk down the aisle was when it really felt real. Really the whole ceremony. It was all so much more magical than I’d imagined it could be.
Any advice for future couples planning their weddings?Kendra: Be realistic financially…and be prepared to go a little over your budget. Don’t waste time worrying about little details like tablecloths or whatever– we were lucky enough to have a friend willing to worry about that stuff for us. The wedding is one day (or one weekend) but the marriage is hopefully many years, so just keep that in mind. Marry someone you absolutely love and you’ll be happy on your wedding day no matter what else happens.
Joel: If you possibly can, do the full weekend. It’s not necessarily more expensive if you find the right place. In the lead up, set aside one day of the week to deal with wedding stuff (“Wedding Wednesday” or “Matrimony Monday”). Other days of the week you can think of things, but put them on a to-do list for that day. Delegate as many wedding day tasks and responsibilities as you can- tons of people are going to want to help you, and most of them will be very good at it (possibly better than you would be on your own). If you’re writing your own vows, instead of showing them to each other, share a basic outline, agree on a rough length, then show them to the officiant, or some other third party you absolutely trust, and have them make the recommendations about any changes one or the other of you should make. Oh, and hire a photographer like Danette whose portfolio is full of people laughing. It’s a good sign.
Really though, if you want a really great wedding, the most important thing you can do is marry someone you’re really crazy for. That sets the tone for everything else, and its what your guests will remember far more clearly than they will the color of the tablecloths or the type of salad at the reception.
What’s next on your calendar as a couple? Joel: Well, we already went on our honeymoon, actually. Left just a couple days after the wedding. One of the people we met in Ghana was an American working at the embassy in Togo. He was headed to Madagascar for his next posting and said we should come see him. So we did.
We were in the country for about two and half weeks, first just relaxing on the beach, and then going out exploring towns, hiking through forests, strapping on harnesses and climbing 300 ft craggy rocks called “tsingys,” camping on the side of a river, and seeing as many lemurs, chameleons, geckos, and birds as we could find. Also managed to find some amazing gourmet food in a town 6 hours away from the nearest paved road by 4×4 truck, among other places.
Kendra: Both of us had had Madagascar on our lists for a long time, and it was pretty incredible to get to spend time together in a place that was so wild and remote. There were many, many moments– watching the sun set over the Indian Ocean on an almost-private island, swimming under a waterfall in the middle of a forest, lying under a brilliant night sky watching the Milky Way and falling stars– that I could only describe as magical. And I feel so grateful we got to have those experiences together.
Final thoughts: Kendra: Having a wedding has been a humbling experience in the best possible way. It both reminds you that you’re just like the millions of people who have done this before and makes you feel, for one day, like the center of the world. I knew Joel made me happy, but I never expected the wedding itself to make me so happy, too.
Joel: I wish we could do it all again. But I guess maybe it’s the fact that we can’t that makes it special. Whatever it was, I think everyone deserves at least one day that magical.
